Parenting and Leading

I was talking to a friend today about parenting. I mentioned that it is very easy for us to parent strictly out of our own personality, basing our parenting off of who we are and what we like. In doing that, we naturally will connect with one child more than another child, though we love them all the same.

Proverbs tells us “Train a child in the way (his/her bias) he should g,o and when they are old they will not depart.”

I believe that all of our children have certain biases …. personality types if you will. If we take the broad approach and say this is who I am as a parent and I am going to parent out of my own personality, we will not meet the needs (not wants) of our children. This will cause them to have needs that go unmet, which will make them vulnerable in a world that desires to take advantage of them.

Most people understand this in the realm of leadership. That you can’t lead everybody the same, because everybody is not the same. We can’t get by with leading people the way we would like to be lead, because they are different than us.

Why is parenting any different. It isn’t. We have to lead as well as parent with intentionally. I have to discern and determine, what is it that my son/daughter needs the most. What is it that the person I am leading/parenting right now needs the most?

Hint: It is not probably what you would need the most if you were in their situation, yet that it what we have a tendency to go with.

Don’t ask today, what would I need if I were in their shoes? Ask God to show you what they need based on who they are, right now. Then be intentional and give it to them.

That is really servant leading and parenting.

Married Life Live Thoughts

WOW What A Great Evening. It was filled with everything that makes a great evening.

Fun, Food, & Fellowship. Laughter, Love, & Learning.

David D’Angelo did a great job of giving us ways to communicate more effectively in our marriages. Thanks!

Thanks to Danny & the band for the great music.

Thanks also, to John, Teresa, Kevin, Jean and your teams for the leadership and work you gave to make it a great evening .

Thanks to all the volunteers who served to make it such a special evening for the 500 plus who attended.

If you were unable to attend, let me remind you of something.

Marriage is like your vehicle. If you do not have a maintenance program, it will eventually leave you sitting on the side of the road. You will wonder how did this happen?

Married Life Live is a great way to give your marriage a tune up and keep it humming.

February 16 is the next scheduled Married Life Live. The Topic is a hot one. Nurture Romance . You don’t want to miss it, so put it on your calendar today.

The Indians - Stepping Stone, not a Tombstone

Sports for me are an incredible tool for teaching. I personally have learned so much from the sports world, both positive and negative.

Two of our boys are huge Indians fans. They were so excited about their beloved Tribe being up 3 games to 1. They felt it was a sure thing that the Indians would be going to the World Series.

In their minds, it was a done deal, not just getting their but wining the whole thing. They had confidence in C.C. And the boys would be sure to get the job done.

Well you know by now that the Indians have cleaned out their lockers and are now looking toward next season …

Though, I am disappointed that they did not advance, it gave me a great opportunity for a life lesson with our boys. I shared with them that nothing is really a sure thing in life. A lot of stuff can happen that you have no control over.

So it is with us … we have to learn how to handle failure, making sure it is a stepping stone and not a tombstone for us. Failure is inevitable, we fail all the time here at NewPointe. We choose to call them learning experiences.

You see you have those times in the process of building a Championship Team. I am sure that Manager Eric Wedge and the rest of the Indians will learn from this experience and use it as a stepping stone towards building a Championship team.

It’s no different in our personal lives. And that’s why I love sports – they teach life.

California Wildfires - wow

My heart and prayers go out to the 300,000 who have been evacuated from their homes .. By day three wildfires had burned 1,200 homes and businesses and set 335,000 acres and more than 400 square miles –ablaze …

It is a great reminder of the scripture : “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Though there is nothing wrong with having nice possessions, and I sure enjoy my share, I need to be reminded that they can be gone in a second.

Food for Thought

Have you been listening and watching the Ellen DeGeneres’ - doggie dilemma? It’s pretty nasty.

It’s always amazing to me how we respond to different situations. Isn’t it? Think about how we respond, to what we are passionate about and to things that make us cry. And what about how we respond to things that make us mad?

Questions of the day:

• What are you crying over? Luke 7:36-50
• What are you mad about? Proverbs 8:13
• What are you passionate about? Revelation 3:15-20

As it’s been said – and unreflected life is not worth living.

An Update with Eloquence

I have been slow in bogging and I apologize. I want to thank you again for your prayers for me and my family. God’s presences and joy has been incredible. Here is a summary by my sister Brenda of our family time before my mom went into surgery:

Mother was sitting on the edge of the bed in her little blue gown, feet dangling, looking tinier than usual. Dad was dressed up for the big day, green sports jacket and matching tie, silver hair carefully combed. Seated beside her, he took Mom's hand in his, scanned her face carefully, and then addressed all the children and grandchildren packed into the small hospital room for these last few moments before surgery. We listened carefully, because we had been well informed that Mom was in the fight of her life. Only a few sentences in and I knew this was a space in time we would never forget. I have never heard my father so eloquent. We just had moments to all kiss her and wipe our tears when it was finished, because the medical staff was there to prep her for what was to come. I went immediately to the waiting room to write as much of Dad's words as I could remember. I hope they will bless and challenge you for whatever you face in your life.

Dad stroked Mom's hair and hand, and then he said, "Children, this is a great woman. The greatest woman I have ever known, including my own mother. My mother was an amazing woman, I was very close to her, and she did much for me. But your mother exceeds even her. By the grace of God, she has worked with God to make a man out of me. You have been blessed more than you can comprehend to have her as your mother and grandmother. She has loved you and prayed for you day and night. She is precious. She and I have ALWAYS trusted Jesus, and we will trust him now. We spend time with him together every day, as we did this morning already, and you need to know that she is prayed up, paid up, and cheered up. She faces this day with nothing undone. If this is the last family gathering we have all together like this, you need to know for sure that she will be in heaven waiting for us to join her. Now, let us talk to Jesus about our situation."

With arms around each other, we listened to something I wish everyone could have the privilege of hearing from someone they love. In a strong, low voice Dad addressed God with awe and reverence. You could tell he was talking to a powerful King. But it was clear he was the King's son, and they had spoken many times before this day. He said, "Father, I want to thank you for the privilege of being Marie's lover and husband and partner in life for these 57 years. You gave me more than I could ask or imagine. We are so thankful to approach you today, because we know your power, and we know what you CAN do. But we totally trust you. You will do what is right. So, whatever happens today, help us honor you. If it goes as we hope and pray, help us be truly grateful and give you all the credit and glory. If we are sorely disappointed, help us still trust you and honor you with our response. You have prepared heaven for us. Help us all be ready. In your wisdom, you gave us each life at the time you knew was best. In your wisdom, we want you to take us from this life to our eternal home when you know it is best. We trust you today and every day to do the wisest, the best, and most loving thing. We thank you for loving us and sending your Son Jesus to be our Savior. It is in His Name we pray. Amen."

Then these half century lovers kissed each other 7-8 times, all over the other's well-known and well-loved face. I could hardly swallow. You could feel the Spirit of God so near and real.

Thank you for your prayers. I am breathless and humbled when I realize how many people care and are praying, many of you for someone you never met. Mom has many challenges ahead of her, and the outcome of this phase of her journey is not yet certain. But some things we know for sure. A song Mom used to sing while she hung clothes when I was a kid sums it up.

"I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day. I don't borrow from it's sunshine, for it's skies may turn to gray. I don't worry o'er the future for I know what Jesus said. And today I'll walk beside him, for he knows what is ahead. Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand. But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know HE holds my hand."

Beautifully written by my sister. But beyond that, beautifully lived by my parents.

I'm still here

I am a still a blogger ….. I've just had a few things going on lately.

My Mother who is 84 is in a fight against cancer. She had surgery Monday and here is the report.

The doctor said that things went very well, though there are plenty of challenges that lay ahead. The recovery is very critical. The tumor was attached to her colon, stomach and small intestines, so they had to be cut and sewed back together. It is critical that they heal completely because a poor linkage would be fatal.

It is great to be apart of a family that knows, and trust God. My father led our whole family in prayer before my mother went into surgery. It was a very moving time for all who were there.

It is also great to be apart of a great church family. Thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Community really is a special thing. It's unnoticed at times, but when you really need it, you sure are glad you have it.